As the mother of a son, you have to go into grandmotherhood with a little secret tucked into the back of your mind. That secret is, that if he gets married, and has children, love up on them as much as you can, because if something happens in his marriage, and his wife leaves, you may never see your grandchildren again.
I’m not here today to point fingers, or to place blame on either one of them, my son or my ex-daughter-in-law. What happened in their marriage, in their home, between them, is not my story to tell. In fact, it is all none of my business and I know it. What IS my story, is that I have called myself the Fabgrandma for more than 10 years, and now that two of my grandchildren have been removed from my life, I feel like a fraud as a grandma. Even though I love those little ones so much that my heart may never heal, I still feel like I am not a good enough grandmother to be called FAB.
Even though there are four other grandchildren that still live close by me, and I try to see them when I can, my heart just hurts more when I see them. I guess it’s because the older two, Michael and Sarah, have lost their little brother and sister. I know that Sarah is heartbroken too. And, Spencer and Parker have lost their cousins. By the time they get grown up, they may not even remember their names, much less what they look like.
My ex-daughter-in-law left back in May, I’m not sure of the date. I know it was after Easter last year, because I was planning a big family dinner and Easter Egg Hunt at my house. They didn’t come, and I was so disappointed. I haven’t seen Owen and Amelia since before Easter 2016. I was not give the opportunity to say goodbye to them, and that was a big big hurt.
So, one day in December I went to the mailbox, and there was a Christmas card postmarked from England. There was no return address, and no personal message written in the card. Their mother had signed both Owen’s and Amelia’s names to the card, even though they both can write their names. I was so stunned to get that card after so long a time, months long, that it was like a sharp knife plunged into my heart. I cried every time I looked at it.
Then, a while later, I received another envelope with a postmark from England, and no return address. Inside the envelope were two hand made Christmas ornaments. One was signed on the back, again in their mother’s handwriting, Owen. The other, Amelia. There was no letter, no scrap of paper in the envelope, to tell me what these were, that they missed me, that they love me, nothing. I have received nothing since then.
It is really hard to feel like a granny, a grandmother, much less a fabgrandma, when I don’t hear from my little loves. It’s hard to try to think about what they are doing, where they go to school, if they are making good grades, if they have accomplished big things, when I don’t even get to hear about it. I am missing out of their lives. More so, they are missing out on having a grandma.
The pictures in this post were sent to my son, and he sent them to me. I don’t know why I am cut out of their lives entirely. Have any of you had this happen to you? Mothers of sons, wrap your heart tightly to your grands.
