Do you ever have those moments where you feel like you need to do something, but you just don’t have the motivation to get it done. If you are like me, the thing you need to do at that moment will be put aside for an hour, a day, a week, and on and on until it has become months and months that you have not done that thing. Well, the thing is, I just haven’t been writing any chatty, personal posts here since April when Fabgrandpa and I went to Richmond to visit our daughter. And if you know me, you know that is just not like me. So, when you look up there at my header, and see all those “thought bubbles” of things I like to do and write about, you will see all the things we haven’t been doing this summer.
There has been a lot going on here in the Fab household. None of it has been fun. Some of it is not my story to tell, but it has had an effect on me which IS my story, so I need to say a bit about that. With that said, here are the top four reasons I have not been writing charming, witty, and interesting posts to entertain you, my readers.
Fabgrandpa and I Have Been Sick
It is not a major illness, but we have been passing a nasty bug back and forth between us for what seems like months. This bug, whatever it is, causes me to get an ear infection, and chest congestion. I have had at least three rounds of antibiotics, which beats it back for a while, but once I have taken all of the pills, it comes back in a few days. I’m really tired of it. So is Fabgrandpa. Because he has COPD, he is also given steroids along with the antibiotic. I’m just ready for it to go away.
Doctor Appointments. And More Doctor Appointments
In addition to the bug that will not leave us alone, Fabgrandpa started seeing a pulmonologist. This is the first time he has seen a pulmonologist since he was diagnosed with COPD several years ago. She changed some of the meds he was taking, and has ordered a ton of tests, which created more appointments at various places. She also referred him to a cardiologist for a stress test to make sure that his shortness of breath is not being partially caused by an underlying heart problem. He has not been to that appointment yet. Some weeks we have had three appointments. It does seem like that is all we do right now. All of the places we have been going for the appointments are about 30 miles from home, so it is a 60 mile round trip. By the time we get home, I am exhausted, and spend the rest of the day in my recliner, sleeping.
My Mother’s Dementia Has Gotten Worse
My younger sister, Linda, has taken care of Mama for many years. But, she has a new job with the sheriff’s office, and can’t take off work as much as she did at her old job. I have been taking Mama to her doctor’s appointments for the last year or so, which is a 90 mile round trip for me. In the last few months, Mama has gotten to the point where she needs a wheelchair to get around, and her dementia has gotten bad. She fell twice in her hallway because she forgot to use her walker. The last time she fell, she was admitted to the hospital, and was taken from there to a rehabilitation facility for physical therapy. My siblings and I met and decided that it was time to move Mama to an assisted living apartment. This has not been an easy decision. It has been emotionally and physically draining on all of us. Linda and her husband Alan took Mama to her new home yesterday.
The decision to move our mother to assisted living meant we have had to empty her house and put it on the market to sell it. She has been living in her house for 51 years. Every closet, every drawer, every kitchen cabinet, was packed full of her life. She kept everything. Every greeting card anyone ever sent her. Every scrap of paper. We even found three pairs of pants that belonged to our brother who died in 1979. I made the trip to Mama’s house every other day, a 90 mile round trip, for almost two weeks. On the days I didn’t go, I slept in my recliner. If I didn’t have to take Fabgrandpa to an appointment. That monumental task is complete for the most part. We are now hoping her house sells quickly.
My Son Is Getting A Divorce
While this is not my story to tell, it does affect me. I have been so sad for him, and have been grieving along with him over this loss. His wife left with Owen and Amelia, my grandson and granddaughter, in May, and went back to England. I haven’t seen them since before Easter. I may never see them again. My heart is broken, and I feel like it will never recover. I feel like a fraud calling myself Fabgrandma, because I don’t feel so fab at all.
So, there you have it. The reasons I have not been motivated to write. I am participating in the ProBlogger Challenge – 7 Days to Getting Your Blogging Groove Back. Go check out the podcast if you would like to participate.