I really meant to write more last week. I had penciled in on my calendar “write blog posts” . But then, I went to my mental health appointment, and they changed my meds. The change from Celexa to Cymbalta for depression is supposed to help me feel better in the long run, but for over a week now, all I have done is sleep. In the bed, in the recliner, in the car, in the chair in Mama’s room at the rehab center. Yesterday was the first day that I felt awake, but today the drowsiness is back. If this doesn’t change soon, I’m going to ask them to change me again to something else.
Just in case you are new, I have been in pain 24/7 since my surgery in May of 2012. I had some intestinal issues, which led to surgery to remove a blockage, which led to an intestinal rupture, which led to peritonitis, which led to major complications and five surgeries. In the end, I lost some of my abdominal muscle and went home after 34 days in the hospital with a colostomy. The colostomy works fine and does not give me any trouble. Except that I do not want to be this woman with a pouch hanging off of my abdomen.
The pain is from the loss of muscle from my abdomen. I have nothing to support my gut, so that it feels like it is falling out all the time, most likely because it is. I can not do many things I did before the surgery, 15 months later. I have been told by three doctors that I need to have two more surgeries to repair the damage done from the first round of surgeries, but because I do not have health insurance, and these two surgeries are “elective” no doctor will do them. So, I wait. For what, I don’t know.
At first I was waiting for the Affordable Health Care Act to kick in in January 2014, but then I found out that the state of Georgia has opted out of the program.
I thought that meant that there would be no option for me to get a low cost insurance policy from a state pool. But I have since learned that what it means is that if were living under the federal poverty level I would not be eligible for medicaid.
I WILL, however, be able to get a subsidized policy under the AHCA. After spending a little over two hours searching the internet I finally found the Healthcare.gov website. It has a ton of information about the Affordable Health Care Act, how it will affect you as an individual, which states have a their own health insurance pools, and more. There is even a calculator, created by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, that will show you your approximate costs for health insurance under the Affordable Health Care Act based on your particular circumstances.
I used the calculator to find out that my health insurance premium will be approximately $80 a month, with no more than $2250 out of pocket deductibles per year. I hope that is right, because I have not been able to afford health care insurance since 2000, when my coverage under COBRA expired. I hope that the Affordable Health Care Act will make it possible for me to get the surgery I need to repair the damage to my abdomen that happened last year. I want to be free of pain, and the depression it brings.
I want to live a normal life, and be back to my normal self. If I have to wait until January 1, 2014 for that to happen, that is just a little while longer. It’s unfortunate that I have many friends and family members who are of the opinion that this will be the end of America as we know it. I am ready for the change, ready to be a happy healthy person again. Sorry this turned into a rant.