Do you have a friend or someone you know who is in a bad love relationship? You know, that person who constantly calls you and wants to talk smack about their husband/boyfriend/wife/girlfriend? I have no idea why these people stay in a situation like that. Whenever I have had relationship problems, I have either talked to my spouse or boyfriend, whichever it was at the moment, or found a way to move out and move on. I mean, after all, that other person in your relationship is the only one who can fix it with you. If you talk to your significant other, and the problem can’t be fixed, it is time to walk away. Life is way too short to live it in an unhappy relationship that neither of you wants to work on in order to make it better.
I have had my fair share of friends who have wanted to tell me all about their woes, about how he doesn’t do this, or she does that. And I have to tell them I am not a marriage counselor, I can’t help them. What I have found over the years, that this is what happens, every time: you do get pulled into that sort of conversation. You agree with one thing or another that the person may say about their spouse. When they get back together with the other person or make up, they take it out on you because you encouraged them to break up or whatever it was you said to them that was negative about the person they are in the relationship with. Best advice I can give, is, stay out of it. If they insist on reeling you in to their conversation, tell them to get marriage counseling or get other professional help. If they still insist, tell them that you love them, but you can not be a part of this conversation. Tell them the only person they need to talk to is their spouse. You will be a much happier person for it.
So agree. One of family members is like this. Bad relationship after bad relationship. Then all they want to do it whine about it. Well they are the ones who keep picking losers.
That is so true! I have a friend who does this, and then I find myself getting caught up in it. I backed off on talking to her last year and my relationship has been so much better!
I always offer an ear to listen to those types of people. But I don’t know what to say sometimes!
Staying out of it is the best advice you could ever give anyone. that goes for love relationships and friendships as well. One moment someone may be hating on a mutual friend and the next they are best buds again and you’re the bad guy because you listened t them complain. I don’t get involved with any of the drama, life is too short! Now, that doesn’t mean that my sister or my cousin and I don’t have mini complain session to each other about our spouses on occasion, it feels good to get it out sometimes and we both know that we are just venting and love our lives with our guys!
Oh! And I forgot to say, you and fabgrandpa look sooooo cute in that photo!
It can be so frustrating sitting by and watching relationships that just don’t work. I usually only offer my opinion to friends about their relationships if they specifically ask.
I currently have someone like this, someone I love and I hate it but I know it is not my choice. I’m proud to day that my hubby and I have been together for 17 years and we communicate so well now.
I agree that you should stay out of it. Even if it’s hard, or the person keeps trying to drag you in. You also don’t need their “woes” to drag you down either.
Like Colleen, me and my hubby have been together for 17 years. We communicate well too. We’re the first people we go to if we have problems (meaning each other) and not try and drag others into our personal business.
I like to stay “drama-free”. Where there is drama I run the other way. LOL.