I wrote yesterday that we don’t buy gifts for each other, but I wanted to expand on that thought. I am his third wife, he, my fourth husband. We didn’t meet until I was 39 and he was 42. We had both been down some pretty rocky roads, and had more than our share of sorrow and pain. That we have made it 18 years together is a wonderful gift in and of itself. That he can make me happy, and I him, another.
The gifts I want and need the most are not tangible. One hour with my mother without criticism. A visit with my brother without sarcasm. Acceptance for who I am, forgiveness for what I am not and can never be. A gathering of family at any time without pettiness and jealousy, without bigotry, without prejudice. So to all who pray and wish for world peace, try starting with your own small world. Give a truce with that Wii; a hug and a held tongue with that chocolate Santa; a smile and a genuine heart with that Christmas ham. Make a step towards making Christmas mean something more than “it costs less at XXX-XXXX.”
Well said!
My husband and I don't give each other gifts anymore, although we did in the beginning of our marriage (we've been married almost 10 years). In order to make sure we "got the right thing", we just asked each other what we wanted. We finally decided it was easier to just shop for ourselves. LOL.
When we need something, we get it if it makes sense. If we want something…but don't necessarily need it…we wait and buy a couple of those things for ourselves at Christmas-time. We do buy gifts for our 6yo granddaughter, but non of the adults in our family exchange gifts anymore.
We aren't a religious family, but for us Christmas is much more about the family togetherness and festive foods than it is about material gifts.
Karen, My husband and I (retreads in the marriage game, too – more times than I care to admit for myself) don't really give each other gifts, either. We've bought each other things over our 11 year relationship, but I would always prefer the "experience" over the gift. I mean, I'd rather go have a nice (not necessarily expensive) dinner, or go camping, or something like that. Thanks for sharing such a provocative post. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
You said it all so right with the first post and this one say's it more. I agree that all the gift giving is too pretentious anyway. My son has been gone now for over 20 years, but what I would give for another day or hour with him and he be pain free. I had a little poodle that I loved so. Give me back my little bundle of joy. An hour with my daughter and being happy. A good dinner that I helped to cook. Those are the most important things.
You and yours have a great holiday and hope you get some family time too.
I had 35 years with the best man ever. We did exchange gifts but always valued each other more than the presents. This is the first Christmas that I will spend without him. I sure am not missing the gifts. I would trade everything I own if that would mean that I could have him back and he could be healthy and pain free.
I hope you get your wishes for better family relations.
I wish for you a Christmas filled with harmony and the dreams you hold in your heart.
Last year my husband and I had spent a lot of time and money shopping for three kids, their spouses, our seven grandchildren, and other assorted relatives. We had decided not to buy for each other. On Christmas Eve, I said, "Shoot. Why shouldn't we have something for ourselves under the tree?" We went to Best Buy and bought a GPS for him and a kitchen CD player for me.
I agree that gifts are not what Christmas is all about, but sometimes you need to be good to yourself and to your spouse.
I am very fortunate in that my family doesn't have hidden tensions or open hostilities. We just have a great time together. I wish everyone could have the same experience.
Well said Karen. You two already have the gift of love that Christmas is suppose to be all about. I hope the rest of your Christmas wishes come true.
Karen
Thanks for sharing from your heart and the truth as I too see it about Christmas. We too, don't give gifts to each other and this year as far as our children we made up gift boxes of goodies that I know they will enjoy. The grandchildren get one gift from us and that is all.
Christmas is not about the gifts, it is about sharing love with each other. I wish I had written what you wrote.
May you have a blessed Christmas and year full of love and friendship of family and friends.
Ali
Thank you for those words expressed so well. They were "right on". Reflection of ourselves not others could change the world. My best to you and your family.
DF
Just so you know, I accept you for who you are and what you are able to be to me. It took me a while to get there, but I think it was worth the ride. I love you.
Sweetpea: I already knew that, but for you to come here and say it, well, that is a wonderful gift for me. Thank you. I love you too!