The weather in Phoenix today started out sunny and warm. It was such a nice day that I did not think about taking an umbrella with me when we went out to do our weekly shopping. So, as I was walking along the sidewalk from one store to another, in the rain, I brushed past a young man on the sidewalk with a scowl on my face, not making eye contact with him when he asked for 30 cents so he could “catch the bus.”
In an instant after I walked past him, I felt so guilty, because I have always believed myself to be a nice, benevolent person. Because there have been many times in my life when I needed something, and thanks to the generosity of friends, strangers or acquaintances I barely knew, I received whatever it was I needed without asking for it.
I have not thought about my friend Michelle in many years. She was one of those people who came into my life “for a season”, and who helped me out the kindness of her heart. I had known her for a couple of years, when I found out that my then husband had been unfaithful to me in a most awful way, a way that I can not talk about here. I went to an attorney to talk about a divorce, and found out that I needed $1800 to pay for it.
Later that same day, when I needed someone to talk to, I turned to Michelle for the comforting shoulder to cry on and the ear to listen. When I told her what was going on, she immediately, without hesitation, offered to pay for my divorce. I was astounded, as it had not been my intention to ask for a loan—I just needed to vent over what was happening. She told me that she had been left a trust fund several years earlier, that meted out to her $1800 every year once a year, and that she usually gave that money to her church, but that she thought I needed it more and that she thought her church would understand. And she made it perfectly clear that it would not be a loan—it was a gift from her to me. The thought of Michelle went through my head in those few steps I took away from the tatooed young man.
So, I turned around and walked back to the young man on the sidewalk. He had a surprised look on his face, but told me that he rode his bicycle to town, and did not want to ride it home in the rain. He was short just 30 cents for a bus ticket. He said he would give me a postage stamp in exchange. I gave him all the change in my purse, and shooed away his offers of an AA battery out his MP3 player, or the offer to play a song in his harmonica.
As I walked away, I still felt ashamed of myself, for not IMMEDIATELY offering to give him the 30 cents. I have always believed that we should be kind to everyone we meet, because we never know which one is going to be our guardian angel. That elderly woman, who is tottering along, blocking your path? That obnoxious child who is screaming at the top of his lungs in the grocery store checkout? That tattooed, multi-pierced young man on the sidewalk? Which one will it be? And because that 30 cents? Will it still “count” as a good deed done, because I walked on past with a hardness in my heart first?
Oh, it counts regardless of how to do it. What a sweet story too!
It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day and forget about kindness. All the rude people and the bad encounters with others throughout the day totally rub off on us and we often forget to help out those in need despite all the nastiness in the world.
Those small good deeds are the only thing that can turn it all around. Good for you!
I believe it counts, even though you walked past him first….it’s what happened in the next step that counts and you obviously passed the test…Kudos to you my Seester 😉
What a touching story! We have had similiar experiences where complete strangers have helped us in ways we could never imagine.
I agree, you never know who is going to be our guardian angel or the guardian angel to someone close to us. You have a very kind heart. Thanks for sharing this and reminding us to think about those having a tough time right now.
Merry Christmas!
Cathy
What counts is that you went back. You certainly are a good person.
So often we are preoccupied with self.
And you could certainly afford .30 with your great budget.
Oh it counts. You went back. When conviction came you listened and you were sincerely kind to the young man. I am sure he was touched by your kindness. I wonder how many people walked by him. I always think…what if that was my kid?
Thanks for this post. I know I need to be reminded.
Ok, so I am going to be bad here. I do give,,, but.. not long ago they did a news story on a man we saw frequently in front of the liquor store. (if I admit how frequently that would give away how much I like wine, lol). Anyways, I gave when I could, he had a dog with him on some occasions, a child on others. As it turned out, he has a HUGE beautiful home, wife, dog and two kids. He was bragging about how his income was tax free and he made over $500 on a good day. I was in shock! There are people out there that truly need the help, and he was openly exploiting his financial gains! It has tarnished me when it comes to giving. I still do, but not as freely, and not as often. I am more likey to buy them a coffee or sandwich than give them cash. I wish I had never seen the news report because with my luck, I have passed by helping the ones truly in need.
What a thoughtful post! I agree with Talina that your act still counted as kindness. In this day and age it is only natural to be slightly cynical and skeptical when people ask for help – there are way too many frauds and scams going on. But you reasoned things out and went with your heart – you can’t regret that so that must tell you that you did something right even if you did hesitate at first. 🙂 I am very thankful that you had a friend who helped you out when you needed it too.
Wow, what a great reminder! You just never know who you are helping out.
The fact that you went back to give him something told him what a good heart you have. I think many of us walk on by and then think we should have helped but we don’t go back because that might be embarrassing.
Merry Christmas to a Fabulous Lady!
I am reminded of the people we met in front of the grocery store one christmas season with the newborn baby. You remember? The ones we found a home that year? I believe the 30 cents counts just as much because that was what he needed and you gave even though you had reservations at first. It’s easy to give and help when you have no doubts.
But because of you, I have often given a cup of coffee or a handful of change or a box of food to those who have asked. You taught me to be kind and giving to others, and I will teach my own children the same thing. So, in essence, your giving compassionate nature has affected so many more people than you might think.
Merry Christmas!
the main thing is that we don’t keep our hearts hard, and you showed how fast you can humble yourself and change you hearts!
You did nothing wrong!