When I was growing up, it was just another day for my brothers and I to be fighting. We punched, kicked, slapped, pulled each other’s hair. It was part of being siblings in our household. I would venture to say that is the case for a lot of other people too. Kids fight. They just do. My kids fought constantly. As you can see from the photo above, so do my grandchildren. But, is it ever ok for a child to hit another child?
This debate has been going on on Facebook for a while today. In this case, the question is about if it is ok for a BOY to hit a GIRL if she hits him first. Does a young boy, say age 10 or younger, have the right to defend himself if his he hit first by a girl.
The debate turned into a discussion of domestic violence, which I feel is NEVER ok. It is never ok for a man to hit a woman or for a woman to hit a man, for any reason. I have been in a domestic violence situation myself, and just left. That man only got once chance to hit me. I walked away and never looked back. But that is not what I am talking about here.
Why is it in our society that we teach BOYS to never hit a girl, under any circumstances? If, for instance, a little boy was being bullied on the playground or on the bus by a little girl, and he hits her back, then HE is the one who gets in trouble? If he doesn’t hit her back, but tells his parents, and the parents go to the school principal, then that little boy is called a sissy or made fun of by other kids at school. If the situation were reversed, and it was a little girl getting hit by a little boy, and SHE hit back, no one would say a word.
What do you think? Should both children be punished equally when this happens? Should the little boy just have to suck it up and be a man? Should the little girl be the one who gets punished? Should the girl be punished the same as if the boy had hit a girl? Do you teach your children to walk away or to fight back?
I think the little girl should get in trouble and we should teach our kids your not a sissy for avoiding a problem where you would hurt someone. Whats wrong with that logic. The issue comes to physical strength. Just as a young boy can grow up into a bully and get into bar fights and confrontations all the time with people, a girl can grow up to be a bully who will pick on people these days via social media and even attack their weaker victims. This is a good topic, one I have tried to touch on, but people dont care as long as its not affect them. All I can say is give it time.
Del, I agree 100%. Grown women can be just as brutal as grown men.
I was just having this conversation with my Grandma the other day because Brodie and Katherin fight constantly. I don’t think that they should be doing it at all, but I guess kids are kids, and they do this. Is it wrong for me to tell Brodie that he can’t hit his sister when she hits him first? Would she stop doing it if he got her one good time? She is figuring out that Brodie gets in big trouble for hitting her, but when she does it, I just tell her no (because she is so little). Then I remind him that she learned it from him and that’s one of the reasons I gave him for not hitting her to begin with.
I definitely feel that it takes more integrity and self-restraint to walk away from the situation, but more often than not, at a school setting, that leads to more incidents like this because bullies pick on the easy targets. I believe both boys and girls/ men and women should have the same consequences for any kind of agression towards another. If it was a thing that continued, I THINK I would let my son hit the girl back. I bet she would think twice before hitting another kid if she got knocked on her butt one good time. I know I would. I don’t really know what the right answer is or exactly what I would do in a situation like that…. :/
Now see, that is one of the problems in our society today. Girls KNOW that boys are taught not to hit them, so they seem to know that they can hit a boy and get away with it. The boy is always going to be the one who gets in trouble for the fight. I think that until about puberty, that girls and boys are equal in strength and physicality. When the odds are even, if push comes to shove, a little boy needs to know that he can defend himself. When you get into the arena of dating and relationships, THAT is when it becomes different. No man, teen male, or boy who is in a love or sexual relationship with a woman, teen female or girl should hit that person. Neither should the woman, teen female, or girl hit the person she is in a relationship with. That is not what I am talking about here, though—I am strictly talking about kids–children under about 10 or 11 years old, who bully someone, no matter what sex the instigator is. If they hit or bully someone physically, they should expect to be hit back. Not that we teach our children to hit, but sometimes it becomes necessary to defend onesself, and girl or BOY should have the right to do that.