YOU are your own best advocate.
YOU know when something isn’t just right. YOU are the one who has to keep telling your symptoms to another doctor when the one you are seeing is just not listening or just not getting it.
It’s hard to know where to begin, because I don’t know where the beginning is. So let’s just start in March, 2014. Fabgrandpa decided to quit smoking and drinking beer, and he did it cold turkey. He just laid them down and hasn’t picked them back up.
This was something that I have wanted to happen for a long time. He has COPD, and every cigarette he smoked made me sad. Sad for time I knew was being slashed off of his life. Time of his life that he would have to spend with me. So, yes, it was a selfish wish that I wanted him to stop smoking and drinking.
About a month or so after he stopped smoking and drinking, he started telling me that he felt “off balance”. Not dizzy, not like vertigo, just that he was having trouble with balancing his body. He started sort of “lurching” when he walked, a little bit of a veering off to one side or the other when he took the first step.
Other things he told me about were a tingling on the top of his head, a little numbness in his legs, cramps. Lots of cramps. In his chest, in his neck, in his legs, in his feet. Not being able to remember things. This man who could remember verbatim a conversation he had with someone in 1992 would forget to put his glasses on his face when we were going out to eat.
Then the anger started. He was angry about everything and anything. He screamed at me right in my face over the smallest things. I made a sandwich for him before he asked for it, and that made him so mad he pushed me.
That was the day I told him I was making an appointment for him to go to the doctor. Something had to change. I was not going to wait for him to hit me. The first doctor appointment was with the Physician’s Assistant at my doctor’s office. The PA told Fabgrandpa that he was depressed, and prescribed an anti-depressant.
After about a week on the anti-depressant, Fabgrandpa was calling the doctor to tell her that the medication wasn’t working, and that he did not think that he was depressed. She told him that it would take about a month for the medication to show any effect on the depression, and that he should continue to take it as prescribed. She told him to come back in three weeks.
At the four week mark on the medication, we went back and saw the PA again. She asked Fabgrandpa if the medication was working, and he said no, he didn’t think it was, and that he did not think he was depressed. He was still flying off the handle at times, but I thought I saw an improvement. I told the PA that I thought it was working some but maybe he needed a higher dose of the medication. Sometime during this appointment, the PA looked at Fabgrandpa and said “I thought you said you were better.” And Fabgrandpa said “NO! I did NOT say I was better. My wife said that, but she is not the patient.” She told him to try the meds she prescribed for a little while longer.
We left, and Fabgrandpa said he was not going to go to that PA again. He wanted me to make an appointment with my doctor, who we both like. So, I did. The Dr. told us that sometimes that medication that the PA prescribed just doesn’t work for some people, and she changed the prescription to a different medication, Dilantin. Dilantin is a drug used to help prevent seizures, but it can have the effect of calming a person who has anger problems. She said that she has some other patients, all older men, who have responded well to Dilantin for their anger. So, Fabgrandpa came home and started taking the Dilantin.
My doctor also referred Fabgrandpa to an Ear Nose and Throat specialist, because the ears play an integral part in balancing your body. She wanted to make sure there was no problem with his inner ear that would be causing Fabgrandpa to be off balance.
Next: We go to the ENT.
Lisa a says
I swear I never see the PA because health is a serious thing and tegu don’t have the same education.
Dee Landry says
Some, not all doctors really make me want to scream. You’re the patient, you know how you feel and they try to interpret your words as if you’re speaking a foreign language or speaking in mime. I can’t begin to tell you how many doctors I’ve fired for not listening to me or taking my opinion into consideration when prescribing meds or tests.
I begged my doctor for a month to test me for diabetes, I had ALL the symptoms and he kept blowing me off prescribing steroids. Finally after calling daily for a week they told me to come in. My A1c was over 10 and the next morning my fasting glucose was 400+. THAT was the last time I saw that doctor.
Sadie Slays says
Oh I just KNEW anti-depressants were somehow involved as soon as I read the first sentence: “YOU are your own best advocate.” Every single person I have ever met who has experience with anti-depressants ended up at the same conclusion. I’ll spare you the gory details of my own terrible anti-depressant experience, but I’ll offer another life lesson to those reading this:
Never ever tell a doctor you’ve experienced depression in your life unless it’s absolutely necessary. As soon as you reveal your history with depression, they will immediately write off whatever symptom as you’re experiencing as “depression” and dismiss any other possible cause. Doesn’t matter if you’re no longer depressed and haven’t been in years. Doesn’t matter if you know it’s not depression. Doesn’t matter if the cause of the symptom is very obviously not depression. As soon as the doctor hears “depression”, it’s over. They’ll insist that’s the cause and refuse to hear otherwise.
Before you dismiss all this all as some rambling anecdote, let me direct you to an excellent New York Times article warning people about this very phenomena:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/11/opinion/sunday/when-doctors-discriminate.html
Yes, you are your own best advocate. And as a corollary to that advice, I also add the following:
* Thoroughly research any prescriptions or medical tests before you take them.
* Confirm that any meds you’re prescribed are approved by the FDA for that specific use.
* Check and see how much money you’re doctor is receiving from the pharmaceutical industry at this government database:
http://www.cms.gov/openpayments/
Liz Mays says
Sometimes I’m just not sure they listen well enough or even want to take the time to decipher things. Being your own advocate is exactly what you have to do.
Heather says
Well I hope the new medication works and that if there is a problem with his hears or sinuses that there’s an easy fix for it.
jehaine says
So far my current doctor seems to listen, but I’ve had ones that don’t.
MomMaven says
i had female bleeding issues for 3 years before I found a PA who actually listened to me. I was anemic and on meds for that I explained to her that I was anemic because I had excessive menstrual bleeding 3 weeks a month. I had told Drs and PAs this for 3 years. She listened ordered a sonogram and it ended up with me having my hysterectomy. Make them listen!
Jeannette says
I”m sorry you’re having such a frustrating experience! I always ask to see the doctor instead of the PA but even then most of the time I end up diagnosing myself! It’s crazy!
Leah says
I hope the new medication works for you. If it doesn’t, I would maybe discuss with the doctor about switching to Wellbutrin. I read that Wellbutrin helps with quitting smoking. I know that Fabgrandpa has quit, but the nicotine in ciggs is so addicting…I think the Wellbutrin helps with that by increasing whatever it is in the brain that an addiction works with.
Also, I remember when my grandpa quit smoking years and years ago, he had issues with hypoglycemia. He never did before, but his doctor told him something about quitting smoking and hypoglycemia were connected somehow.
Good luck.
LyndaS says
I hope you find a good solution. I had a friend who experienced something similar to Meniere’s disease, though she was never diagnosed with it. She met someone who told her to take slow release Niacin and ever since she started taking it she has not had any dizzy spells.
Avry says
When I go to the doctor with my teenagers or spouse I try to remain quiet during the entire exam. I have found that often times they get what I said and what “the patient” said mixed up. Also, the doctor isn’t seeing me or asking ME how I feel so it’s up to the patient to describe it. I’ve seen some good PA’s and some not so good. It’s all about what makes you feel comfortable. Good luck on your journey of figuring it all out.
Sara P. (@SensiblySara) says
I am not a fan of PA’s for this very reason. I am glad you made the appointment, though, and that you are headed to an ENT to see what’s going on.
Kenda Smith (@RemakingJune) says
Our pediatrician is wonderful, but I’ve had this issue with every adult physician I’ve used. Sometimes it’s difficult to even get out a full sentence before they talk over you and downplay what’s going on or assume what you were going to say. Um…I was trying to tell you how I feel…your job is to listen FIRST.
Michelle says
I’m so sorry you both are having to deal with this and I hope you can get some better answers soon. It really saddens me how these days how many doctors seem to just want to prescribe pills and not really get to the root cause.
valmg @ From Val's Kitchen says
I totally agree! A person knows their own body best. Recently I knew something was off. My lungs sounded clear but xray showed there was a ton of fluid, just like I thought.
Digna D. says
PA assistants don’t go well with me either. Antiseizure medication works as a mood stabilizer. It could be just what he needed. I suffer from vertigo problems due to inner ear issues. I use a nasal spray (afrin with menthol works great) as needed, it drains my sinuses and takes care of my problem immediately. You should have him give it a try.
Michelle says
I feel like I live at the doctor, but that’s what I have to do right now. I even go to a concierge practice so I can more time (really as much as I need) with my doctor. It’s hard when you don’t know exactly what is wrong. I’m finally on the right path thanks to ONE blood test that should have been run years ago. I’ve been asking for a long time too.